Stuff George and Harriet don't want you to see...

George Bush says that a breech of confidentiality keeps him from handing over a shoebox full of Harriet Mier's-isms to the Senate for review. I can totally understand that. I mean, can you imagine all the advice this woman has given him over the years spilling out the threshold of the oval office? Lets just take a few shall we kiddies?

1. Dear George, I think you should nominate Michael Brown to FEMA. I mean, hundreds of quarter horses can't be wrong. BFF, Harriet
2. Dear George, Why not just "wing it" tonight in the debates with Kerry? Blink alot and use small words. It will show your "down-homie-ness" to the American people. They love that shit. BFFAE, Harriet
3. Dear George, Iraq will be slam dunk...GO 4 IT! You heard Tenet...we can't loose!!! ROCK ON! Harriet
4. Dear George, Badges, we don't need no stinkin' badges....we are the freakin' USA!! F.U. U.N.!!! Harriet
5. Dear George, I think that you need to trade Sami Sosa...I mean, the guy is dead weight. BF, Harriet
6. Dear George, Have you ever thought about deep ass tax cuts for the wealthy? I mean, i have no kids, Im filing single, and this crap is killing me. Can't you do something? You are the president!! BFF, Harriet
7. Dear George, Wouldn't I make a kick ass Supreme Court Judge? Black is the new black this year. PLEASE???? Harriet
8. Dear George, What the hell is up with that TMJ thing you have going on? Get thee to a Chiropractor quick!!!If only we could Cheney a cut little "tick" in his jaw...maybe it will make him more appealing!! I'll ask the programmers and see what I can do. Keep up the good work, Harriet
9. Dear George, I noticed some REAL brush gathering in the back at the Western White House. Do you think we could get some Mexicans up in here? Your Homie, Harriet
10. Dear George, I understand the administration is PAYING journalists to fish our policies...freakin' brilliant!! Was that Rove? That guy rocks!! (BTW, is he single?) SWF!! Harriet
11. Dear George, I hear this guy named Jeff Gannon is looking for a press pass and promises to throw you "softballs". He is bald and very USMC. This is exactly what we have been looking for. Look out Helen Thomas!! I will make it happen. Love, Harriet. oh P.S. Have you asked Karl about me? Does he know I asked about him?