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Sunday, July 09, 2006

All Dogs Go To Heaven...or Tahiti....



When I heard that Ken Lay was going to be cremated I felt all warm and fuzzy on the inside. I felt all warm and fuzzy cause I pictured him on a beach in Mexico or Tahiti just kicking back with a couple of MaiTais and some tanned senioritas.
Do all dogs go to Heaven? If you believe in the Christian theory that if you ask Jesus into your heart, then you are saved and you get the Golden Ticket into the Chocolate Factory. If you are one of those rich dogs that can fake your own death and get cremated to hide the evidence, then you go to a foreign country with a "no extradition" policy and live your years with your tosies in the sand.

Mr. Lay (may he RIP...or whatever) was a devout Christian...you know, the same way Tom DeLay is a devout Christian. My favorite pulpit lunatic, Pat Robertson, does not condone cremation, nor do 'serious' evangelical Christians. I just find it hard to believe that his 'last wishes' were to be cremated. Just wondering if he had a burial policy or a plot that he had previously bought which would indicate he wanted to be buried.
Let me tell you a little story. About 5 years ago, my father-in-law passed away. We weren't allowed at the funeral by my husband's stepmother, and he was cremated. My husband and his father had a very non-existant relationship due to this stepmother. About 6 months after my father-in-law 'died', I began getting phone calls from credit card companies. Lots of credit card companies. Seems like f-i-l, stole my husband's credit and had been using it for the past almost 18 years. But when he died, so did the prompt payments. So, like any credit card company would do, they searched the SS# and found my husband. After we put two and two together, we were devastaed. Then, we found out that f-i-l, was in trouble with just more than a few credit card companies, he was the CFO of the Rite-Aid Corporation during the time they were perpetrating the largest corporate "cook the books" fraud in US history at that time. (This was pre-Enron, but just by a couple of months)
So, his dad ripped him off, was about to be seriously indicted for corporate fraud, died and got cremated without anyone seeing a body.....
I'm not saying that Doug (father in law) faked his death, nor am I saying Mr. Lay did...
I'm just saying......