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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Rush LIMPbaugh....

Oh, this is precious.....

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (June 26) - Rush Limbaugh was detained for more than three hours Monday at Palm Beach International Airport after authorities said they found a bottle of Viagra in his possession without a prescription.
Customs officials found a prescription bottle labeled as Viagra in his luggage that didn't have Limbaugh's name on it, but that of two doctors, said Paul Miller, spokesman for the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.
A doctor had prescribed the drug, but it was "labeled as being issued to the physician rather than Mr. Limbaugh for privacy purposes," Roy Black, Limbaugh's attorney, said in a statement.

Just for shits and giggles I called a couple of pharmacies and asked If I could get a prescription under alias or in someone else's name cause I was too embarassed about my condition. You know the answer. It is illegal to obtain or posess a prescriptive without a prescription. Period.
What the hell was Rush doing in the Dominican Republic with Viagra? Was he protecting the sanctity of marriage or are there some hookers in the D.R. with a story to sell?
Wonder if this violates his plea agreement wtih the D.A. on his doctor shopping and OxyContin charges?
Can you imagine if Rush does go to jail? Holy shit. 1) Im laughing my ass off. 2.) He is so getting fucked it isn't funny. The good thing is, with the Viagra....he will be ready to not only be the catcher, he will be happy to be the pitcher.
Wonder if that is why Daryn Kagan left his ugly fat disgusting ass! Who would fuck that anyway? Omigawd...
Damn I wish Bill Maher was back......he would be having a field day.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

I miss Bill Maher.....

Frankly, I couldn't wait until August for some NEW just for fun I went looking for some, and found this funny one. Just a little relief from all this Ann Coulter Bullshit.....

And finally, New Rule:
Drug companies have to stop making up diseases!
I don't know - I don't know what the terrorists are planning next for America, but if I had every problem they talk about in medicine commercials: breathing, lifting, walking, sitting, sleeping, crapping, not crapping, getting a boner and male pattern menopause—I would welcome death. Bring it on! Deadly nerve gas? Please, I've got seasonal allergies!
I mean, it seems like every time I turn on the TV these days, I see some ad for some drug I never heard of, to treat some disease I never heard of. That's not a stomach ache you have from eating the chili-cheese fries at Johnny Rockets, it's Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Or I.B.S. Or as I call it, "B.S." Which would also apply to the dreaded "Social Anxiety Disorder." Or as we used to call it, "shyness." And we treated it with an old home recipe: scotch and water.
Your wife doesn't get turned on? Well, it couldn't be because you're a snowman-shaped sausage casing--so full of beer you sweat hops. It's because she has "Female Sexual Dysfunction."
And before they came up with "Restless Leg Syndrome," did that even exist? Did you ever hear someone say, "Sorry I couldn't make the party, Bill." "The old restless leg was acting up." You know, next time you have an uncontrollable urge to move your feet, maybe you should just...move your feet! Your feet are trying to tell you the same thing your dog is trying to tell you when he's been cooped up in the house all day: "I want to go for a walk!"
But be careful. There's a Tasmanian Devil living under your toenail.
I am waiting for the ad that tells me that my morning hard-on is actually "Superfluous Rigidity Syndrome." Or S.R.S. And there's a cartoon bunny who says, "Are you bothered by morning stiffness?" "Try Flaccidix." "Flaccidix is specially formulated to make your penis shiny and more manageable." "Side effects: you bleed from your pores and then explode and die." "And/or dry mouth."
Now, just in the last two years, the "medicines" that have made the headlines under the category, "Take two and call me in the morning if you're still alive," include Vioxx, Ambien, Zyprexa, Ortho Evra, Prempro, Zoloft, Paxil, Ephedra, Celebrex and Fosamax. And yet it was marijuana last week that was declared by the FDA to have no known medical value. Actually, what marijuana has is no known lobbying value. And, yes - yes, back in 1999, when we still believed in science, the National Academy of Science said what millions already knew from practical use, that weed is useful in treating pain, nausea and weight loss. And that lab rats exposed to it were 38% more likely to forget the maze and just kick it old school. Folks, drug companies are pushers, and Congress and the FDA are the cop on the beat who's been paid off to look the other way. New drugs used to have to go through a rigorous process of testing. Now they just give it to Courtney Love, and if she lives, it's approved. And by the way, just to prove who has the power in this country, that fake FDA report about marijuana having no medical value was issued - on purpose, I am sure - on April 20th - four-twenty.
And that joke only makes sense to stoners.
So, mom and dad, if your kid just laughed, you might need to search his room.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Borowitz made me LOL today......

Here is the latest Borowitz Report "Shocker"

'Jihadist Idol' Debuts on Al-Jazeera

The al-Qaeda terror network today named a successor to fallen terror mastermind Abu Musab al-Zarqawi on a reality show broadcast on the Arabic-language al-Jazeera network entitled "Jihadist Idol."

After performing well in several hotly-contested talent categories, Sheikh Abu Hamza al-Muhajir emerged as the favorite of al-Qaeda terrorists worldwide, who jammed al-Jazeera's switchboards to cast their votes for the terror group's newest star.

The broadcast, which was watched by millions of jihadist madmen worldwide, featured a trio of judges led by al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, whose judging style was described by one network source as "like Simon Callow, only nicer."

According to the source, al-Qaeda decided to choose Zarqawi's successor on a reality show because "being able to perform on television is becoming an increasingly important part of a terror mastermind's skill-set." "Most people think that a terrorist's job consists of blowing things up, kidnapping people or sabotaging oil pipelines," the source said. "The fact is, the average al-Qaeda leader spends most of his time saying scary things into a TV camera."

While Sheikh Abu Hamza al-Muhajir scored well in such talent categories as "Making Spooky Videos," "Calling for Death to America," and "Looking Convincing Holding a Machine Gun," the source said the jury is still out as to whether Zarqawi's successor has what it takes to succeed. "There really should be a talent category called 'Surviving a 500-Pound Bomb,'" the source said.

Peace ya'll......

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Ann Coulter is a Crazy F-ing Bitch

Jesus Christ himself would bitch slap this self-absorbed, stain of a person.
And Kudos to Matt Loser for not mentioning her voting fraud....what a douche.
Watch that video and you will want to throw up.
Kathy Griffin posed the question...
Who the hell wears a black coctail dress at 7 in the morning?