Okay, I'm Sorry...Geez...don't get your flag underwear in a pinch...

Apparently, some of my more politically incorrect comments have hurt some of my Republican friends.
I am sorry. It is very easy to lump republicans into one category (mainly the stupid redneck category) cause frankly they act like alike and think alike most of the time. I know that not all Republicans are stuck on stupid. Just like not all liberals are smoking pot while getting an abortion. (I think I was reading The Nation when I got mine.)
Anyway, society stereotypes everyone. And to stereotype a political party is just downright American.
So, when I say you are stupid, out of touch, greedy, lying, Bush-loving, War mongering, Gay bashing, Bible thumping, homosexual tendency hiding, uneducated, flag hat wearing, rednecks.....
Know it is out of respect for your rights to be that fucked up.
Peace....

Michael Brown on The Colbert Report....

Tonight!!! On the Colbert Report! FEMA's Former Chief Michael Brown! Oh holy crap. This should be a great one. I have already set my reminder for this one. I really can't decide if he is being a media whore, or just kinda trying to save what reputation he has left. I really think he got a bad rap, but those emails are still pretty damaging. I don't think he was the only problem, but he sure got the shit end of the stick.....
Let's see what the human parody of Bill O'Reilly can do with this one. May have to fire up some popcorn.....

We have a Budget Director?????

White House Budget Director Josh Bolton is to replace the resigning Andy Card as Chief of Staff.
"Josh is a creative policy thinker," Bush said. "He is an expert on the budget and our economy. He is a man of candor and humor and directness. No person is better prepared for this important position."
First, we have a budget director? I mean this guy is in charge of what Budget? Maybe he is just the head of the White House Budget. (1500.00 for toilet paper, 300,000 for Abramoff travel)
Second, I wonder if he will serenade the President with his "...tell me how am I supposed to live with out you....now that I've been loving you so looong..."
Oh wait. That is MICHAEL BOLTON!!!

Im so confused.

You're either nuts or a Republican

"If you don't think it's a gamble to put a man in the White House who believes we should have guns in church, who thinks the Taliban is a rock band, who was such a failure as a businessman that his company was nicknamed "El-Busto," who wants to turn our Social Security system into a Wall Street boiler room, who can't name a single thing he disagrees with Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson on, who smeared a bona fide hero named John McCain, and whose principle policy proposal is to give America's surplus to the idle rich in the form of a $1.3 trillion tax cut, you're either nuts or a Republican."

Paul Begala

It is a shame no one listened to him.....

Welcome Back Chicks....

http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2006/mar/25/
dixie_chicks_return_country_radio/



I for one am glad my Chicks are back on the radio. I never really noticed they were gone. I have always like the Chicks, and what Natalie said about Bush was just an exercise in Freedom of Speech.

What I don't get is the conservatives (aka, rednecks) that gave her shit to begin with. (Yes Toby Keith, that means you...) These Rednecks for lack of a better discription, are mostly very patriotic, very pro-Bush and uber Christian. Lets break that down...
Patriotic: Flag sticker on the pick-up truck...check. Yellow ribbon on the tail-gate....check. W04 sticker still proudly displayed on the back sliding glass....check.
Pro-Bush: Also known as "I hate Hillary"....check. NRA members who think that Kerry was going to gather up their .22s and other hunting rifles. Really believes that he is a cowboy from Texas. (he was born in Connecticut actually)
Uber Christian: Self-explanatory. God said to vote for Bush. How do they know? Bush told them.

So, why give the girl shit for saying what she said? She was being an American. She was exercising her rights as an American. Just not the Redneck Card carrying American that her peers are. Nothing is more patriotic than standing up for what is right.

You kick ass Chicks.

What's missing from this picture?

Well, there is this one:
Yes, Noel Bush...We love your mugshots you crazy fucking Crack head!!!!

And Bandar....


And Satan.....

GOP=SEX

http://men.style.com/gq/features/full?id=content_4268

OMG, now I understand. My latest "whatever it was" was a Republican. I know, lapse in judgement. But honestly, he is the love of my life. I just wish he knew how to vote. The shagging was intense and amazing. Now I know why.
I don't want to blog my sex life, gosh that would bore the crap out of ya'll. But I think from now on, when I want to have a meaningfull, intimate, honest relationship, I will choose a Democrat. If I just want to get my brains shagged out over and over all night long...definately a Republican.
I think I am over-sharing.....

Someone get this man a Xanax....

Just a little snippet from the President's speech today in Ohio on Iraq....

"Others look at the violence they see each night on their television screens and they wonder how I can remain so optimistic about the prospects of success in Iraq. They wonder what I see that they don't."

Cause you are FUCKING DELUSIONAL!!!!

www.Dictionary.com:
A false belief or opinion: labored under the delusion that success was at hand.
Psychiatry. A false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence, especially as a symptom of mental illness: delusions of persecution.

See, told you.

.

I got Tagged....

So I guess this means I have to list a hundred things about myself? How nuts is that?
1. I am 34 years old.
2. I have four beautiful children
3. I hate to spell check.
4. Nelita hates it when I don't.
5. I am in love with a Republican
6. We have an amazing story, but to difficult to tell.
7. I am a clutz.
8. I love Chiropractic.
9. I love Sixlets (those little candies)
10. But can't have them.
11. I have two weenie doggies.
12. They actually are kinda like kids.
13. I love Bill Maher.
14. My favorite movie is Moulin Rouge.
16. I love Marilyn Monroe.
17. I have too many shoes.
18. You can never have too many shoes.
19. I am afraid of snakes.
20. I like to ride fourwheelers and get dirty.
21. I used to be an avid equestrian.
22. My mom passed away from Brain Cancer.
23. I miss her every day.
24. I think the water in Durant killed her.
25. I am an environmentalist.
26. I think George Bush will go down in history as the worst president EVER!
27. I think I would have done Bill Clinton.
28. I am laughing that I actually wrote #27.
29. I always have an Elvis CD in my changer in my car.
30. My underwear and bra have to match or it is a bad day.
31. I hate my dad's motorcycle.
32. I love his Model A.
33. I have a 66 Mustang that needs a paint job bad!
34. I lived in Pennsylvania for a year.
35. I hate Pennsylvania.
36. My kids can't keep their rooms clean.
37. It makes me nuts!
38. I don't like nuts.
39. I wish I liked coffee more.
40. I don't like beer either.
41. I bartended while in college.
42. I made a lot of money cause drunk people can't count.
43. My friend Nelita is very special to me.
44. My friend Nelita is a republican.
45. My friend Nelita is really a wild woman inside that Sunday School Teacher!
46. We skipped school a whole day to go to Six Flags to see Winger.
47. We didn't get busted.
48. I wonder if she still has that Play Girl magazine with Kip Winger in it.
49. I really need to have my hair cut.
50. I don't wear alot of jewelry.
51. My son started singing "Im in love with a stripper" in the car the other day.
52. I freaked out that he knew it.
53. He is 4.
54. He loves that song Photograph.
55. I go nowhere without makeup.
56. I have wild hair.
57. I am obsessed about moisturizers.
58. My favorite perfume is Clinique Happy.
59. I wear too much of it.
60. I loathe doing laundry.
61. I really need to go get my windshield fixed.
62. This is my 3rd one to break.
63. A kid threw an orange out a bus and broke my windshild two years ago.
64. I hate my cell phone.
65. I use it too much anyway.
66. I really hate George Bush.
67. I do think he knew something was going to happen, but not what to get his war.
68. I hate this war.
69. I REALLY hate W04 stickers.
70. I really really really hate people who proudly display them on their foreign cars.
71. I also think Laura Bush is a robot.
72. I wonder where Babs and Jenna are.
73. I voted for Kerry.
74. I voted for Clinton
75. I wish Bill O'Reilly would spontaniously combust.
76. I miss my dog Tobye I had when I was in High School.
77. My dad made me some stilts
78. My dad can make anything.
79. I fell off them all the time.
80. My mom hated that.
81. I have an older sister.
82. She is a pain in the ass.
83. I have a crush on a patient in our office.
84. He is SOOOOO hot.
85. I give him lots of extra massage time.
86. I think he knows.
87. I wish I was much smarter.
88. I wish I was richer.
89. I wish I was thinner.
90. I question my faith quite often.
91. Guess I can't call it FAITH then.
92. I don't think he loves me at all.
93. That upsets me some.
94. I really do love him.
95. My car is a mess on the inside.
96. I carry an extra change of clothes in it at all times.
97. A psychic told me I would die at 53..
98. I want to go to Starbucks for some Chai.
99. I always want Chai.
100. Hope I didn't bore you too bad.

Jessica Simpson snubs The Shrub....

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Concerned about politicising her favourite charity, singer-actress Jessica Simpson on Wednesday turned down a invitation to meet with U.S. President George W. Bush, a snub that left Republicans dismayed.
NRCC spokesman Carl Forti said he was surprised at Simpson's position.
"It's never been a problem for Bono," he said, referring to the U2 rock star who has met regularly with political leaders of all stripes to promote various causes, including Third World debt relief.

See, this is how out of touch republicans are. Who the hell would lump Jessica Simpson in the same thought process as Bono? Only a retarded republican would. Geez.....

Clinton didn't screw Monica...

But we are getting FUCKED by this president.....
George has two mouths, as do most repukes, but we won't get into that now...
read this shit, pulled right off of www.whitehouse.gov that the Prez said in 2004.

"I'll tell you another good thing that happened. Before September the 11th, investigators had better tools to fight organized crime than to fight international terrorism. That was the reality. For years, law enforcement used so-called roving wire taps to investigate organized crime. You see, what that meant is if you got a wire tap by court order -- and, by the way, everything you hear about requires court order, requires there to be permission from a FISA court, for example.
So the crime boss, he'd be on the cell phone, maybe thinking somebody is listening to him, would toss the cell phone and get on another cell phone. And the law allowed for our drug busters to follow the person making the calls, not just a single phone number. So it made it more difficult for a drug lord to evade the net that we were trying to throw on him to capture him with.
We couldn't use roving wire taps for terrorists. In other words, terrorists could switch phones and we couldn't follow them. The Patriot Act changed that, and now we have the essential tool. See, with court approval, we have long used roving wire taps to lock up monsters -- mobsters. Now we have a chance to lock up monsters, terrorist monsters. (Laughter and applause.)
The Patriot Act authorizes what are called delayed notification search warrants. I'm not a lawyer, either. (Laughter.) These allow law enforcement personnel, with court approval, to carry out a lawful search without tipping off suspects and giving them a chance to flee or destroy evidence. It is an important part of conducting operations against organized groups.
Before September the 11th, the standards for these kind of warrants were different around the country. It made it hard to have kind of a national strategy to chase down what might be a terrorist group. The Patriot Act provided a clear national standard and now allows these warrants to be used in terrorism cases. And they're an important tool for those who are on the front line of using necessary means, with court order, to find these terrorists before they hurt us. Look, what I'm telling you is, is that the Patriot Act made it easier for people we've tasked to protect America. That's what we want. We want people to have the tools necessary to do the job we expect them to do."
George W. Bush, April 19, 2004
speaking at Hershey Pennsylvania....The sweetest Place on Earth!!!!

What does this mean? In 2004 George KNEW he had to have a court order. He never mentioned that the acts of congress nor the Patriot Act gave him the ability to tap anyone without a court order. Well, he never mentioned that he was within his "rights" until his ass got caught cause someone leaked his super secret spying scheme! He was telling the American people..."hey, I am going to tap terrorist phones, but I am going to do it with a court order" all the while knowing he was lying his ass off. Or did he? Was he just going out there as the lame duck he is as a mouthpiece for Rummy, Dickie and Rove? Regardless he is the Shit and should be IMPEACHED!!
We are ALL WEARING THE BLUE DRESS....

WAKE UP!!!!!!

"Are you a God?" they asked the Buddha. "No," he replied. "Are you an angel, then?" "No." "A saint?" "No." "Then what are you?" Replied the Buddha, "I am awake."—Huston Smith

WAKE YOUR ASS UP AMERICA!!!!!
(um...democrats that means you!)
If you aren't pissed off, then you obviously aren't paying attention!
Oh, and Kudos to Russ Feingold.
(is it just me or is he the butter side of the bread? girls..you know what I mean)

George is Confused Again...

Executing the Law does not mean to actually EXECUTE the law Mr. President. I know you are from Texas (I am too) and in Texas when you "execute" you "kill". It isn't quite the same.

Wanna know more about Claude Allen?

Mr. Gray was lambasting democrats ("those sumbitches!") for questioning Allen when Bush nominated him for 4th circut court judge:

"Claude Allen promises not to advance a political agenda from the federal bench he has been nominated to, but to be the type of judge who buttresses the foundation of American government — by applying the rule of law however he finds it. President Bush, and the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit, could do much worse than Allen. By the grace of democratic principles overriding a minority in the Senate, let us hope they do not have to." — Former White House Counsel C. Boyden Gray is chairman of the Committee for Justice.

Feb. 9, 2006

Upon Mr. Allen's resignation, sayeth the prez...

"Claude Allen has been a trusted advisor since 2001. As Deputy Secretary of Health and Human Services, he worked hard to improve the health and welfare of all Americans. During the past year, he has served as my top domestic policy advisor at the White House and has helped develop policies that will strengthen our Nation's families, schools, and communities.
Claude is a good and compassionate man, and he has my deep respect and my gratitude. I thank him for his many years of principled and dedicated service to our country. Laura and I wish Claude, Jann, and their family all the best."

Claude on Claude:

"My role here is policy," Allen said. "However, my faith is significant to me. I can't divorce myself from my faith nor would I want to do that. But what I am very careful of is not to let my politics interfere with my religion."

I will now assault your mind with subliminal messages....

U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney speaks during his keynote address to the U.S. Labor Department's 2006 National Summit on Retirement Savings at the Willard Hotel in Washington March 2, 2006.

My Friend Shank....

Ok, Ladies...hold on to your underthingys....
This is my friend Shank....

He is in Germany working on his Masters.

He is tall, dark and handsome....just the way I like them...

But he is taken....

But I thought I would blog him since he looked so cute in this picture....

Old, Rich, White Women Can't Dress...

Okay Laura, We know you have some visual problems (botox?) but who the hell picked out this dress? Holy shit ...someone get her a stylist...and FAST!!!!

I mean, Damn Girl!! You can't wear shit after Labor Day!! And don't think standing next to the drunk, stupid guy is going to make it any better....

(thanks Sparklepony..)

Vote for your favorite.....

Damn, all these crack me up!!!!

Time for The Threat Down...

No...it isn't BEARS....(Colbert is so dang funny)
It is Trent Lott!!!!! He is giving the Prez the "oh no you didn't". It is about time the Repukes got some Balls, quit being a bunch of ducks and following every stupid thing this President says, stand up for what is right and not what is padding their pockets. Good for you Trent Lott! Don't pussy out like Frist.....
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2006/03/01/trent-lott-to-bush-ok_n_16587.html
I especially like the "okay, big boy" comment. It is like Trent is the captain of the football team and Bush is the lead in the Drama Club's production of My Fair Lady.